The RPG freind shop.
by Syroc
Summary: PG for a tiny bit of swearing. I got this funny idea one day while watching Monty Python. Hope you like it.


The RPG Friend store.  
  
Authors note: this story was made under the influence (Of tons of sugar.) I thought it would be funny if if someone in the game tried to return Aeris for dying. THEN I saw Monty Python, and the funniest idea came to me. The Idea made me laugh enormously so I decided to write it. If you don't think it's the least bit funny then you take the game too seriously.  
  
  
  
A bird chirped happily on the roof of new shop. It was merely happy to be alive on such a glorious morning such as this. It chirped and did a bit hopping.  
  
Bang!  
  
A man with red eyes standing at the end of the street with a group of people shot the bird.  
  
"STUPID BIRD!" He yelled.  
  
A woman standing beside him punched him in the shoulder.  
  
"VINCENT! JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT PERPETUALLY RED EYES FROM DRINKING TOO MUCH AND YOU'RE SCHIZOPHRENIC DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO SHOOT BIRDS!" She yelled at him.  
  
The man looked at her with tearful eyes. The woman hit him on the shoulder again. He broke down to tears.  
  
"WAHHHH! *Sniff* I'm gonna go lock myself in a coffin now. I hope you all suffer." He turned walked away.  
  
"GOOD! YOU'RE A SECRET CHARACTER ANYWAY!" The woman yelled.  
  
"Tifa, shut up." A spiky haired man with a bag over his shoulder said silkily.  
  
She shut up.  
  
The group continued walking down the street. Occasionally they stopped and greeted some people.  
  
"Hi Terra!"  
  
"Lookin' good, Lenna! Ouch, Tifa. Lay up!"  
  
"Still not talkin' eh Chrono?"  
  
"."  
  
"Goku, how many times do you need die before you get the hint. No more games!"  
  
"Screw you too buddy!"  
  
Finally they stopped in front of a store. The words "RPG Friend Shop" stood in bold letters over the door.  
  
"Yuffie, stay here. The last thing we need now is another useless character."  
  
"Hey!" said a huge doll with a cat on it.  
  
"You see what happened last time!" The spiked man said while pointing at the doll.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You stay too."  
  
Cid, Barret, Cloud and Tifa walked into the shop. A tall man with a black cape and shoulder shields stood behind the counter.  
  
"Ah, my good sirs and missus. What might I interest you in?" He said with a deliberate British accent.  
  
Cloud let go of the bag and let the contents fall out. A wet corpse with pink clothes and brown hair fell to the ground.  
  
"Well, you see, I wou- Hey, you look pretty familiar. Have I seen you before?" Cloud asked suspiciously.  
  
"Me, sir? No." The man behind the counter said nervously, mysteriously shifting from a British accent to an Australian. "What did you want?"  
  
"Oh. Well you see, I would like to return this friend you sold me. You said her name was Aeris and that she was easy to like, so I paid full price. But the thing is, she didn't even make it past the first disc. She's dead, you see." Cloud continued.  
  
"No she's not, She's resting!" the man said.  
  
"She's stone dead!"  
  
"No she's not!"  
  
"Yes she is!"  
  
"No she's not!"  
  
"Ok, ok. I'll prove it to you." Cloud cleared his throat. "CALLING AERIS, THE PLANET IS SPEAKING! WE HAVE THE SECRETS OF THE ANCIENTS RIGHT HERE WRITTEN DOWN IN A TWELVE PAGE BOOK!" He yelled at the still corpse.  
  
A fly settled on its nose.  
  
"You see, she's as dead as doorknob!"  
  
"No she's not!"  
  
"Prove it!"  
  
"OK!"  
  
The man jumped over the counter. He walked over to the corpse and inspected it. Suddenly he looked up.  
  
"Hey! What's that!?" He yelled.  
  
The four characters looked away momentarily.  
  
The man kicked the corpse.  
  
"Hey, she moved!" He yelled.  
  
"No she didn't. You kicked her!" Cloud said accusingly.  
  
"I never!" The man retorted.  
  
"She's missing an arm! And you're standing on it!" Cloud ranted.  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"Prove it."  
  
"You're standing on her arm!"  
  
"NO I'M NOT."  
  
"Then who did it, the one armed man?"  
  
Barret looked up indignantly.  
  
"I resent that saying!"  
  
"Tough."  
  
"Maybe he did!" The man yelled.  
  
"No he didn't, we were watching him."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sorry Barret, but w never trusted you again after the Gold Saucer incident." Tifa said.  
  
"Look, can we please just get her exchanged?"  
  
"But, she's not dead yet!"  
  
"Yes she is!"  
  
"Look, I've proven to you with all my power that she truly lives, and yet you pester me with this "Let me exchange her!" stuff. What kind of a cheap bastard are you?!"  
  
"But she's dead?"  
  
"THAT'S IT!!" The man yelled. "SEND IN THE CLONES!"  
  
A door behind the counter opened up and twelve cloaked people marched out.  
  
"THROW THEM OUT!"  
  
Cloud and the others felt themselves fly through the air and land on the pavement.  
  
"AND DON'T COME BACK!" The man yelled.  
  
The one armed corpse of Aeris landed next to them.  
  
There was an awkward silence for a moment.  
  
"NICE GOING CID!" The others yelled.  
  
They stood up and walked down the street.  
  
"You know, I still think that man looked familiar. I know I've seen him somewhere." Cloud remarked.  
  
A giant paper foot flew down and squashed them all. 


End file.
